Ali will be getting baptised in around seven months. I am crying right now as I write that sentence because I can't believe that my little girl will soon be old enough to get baptised. So all of this year we have started to prepare her. We have talked a lot about being baptised and what that means. HOWEVER, we have been running into lots of problems. At school they have been working on fiction and nonfiction. Both Ali and Shadrach love to read a book or watch a show and then decided if it is nonfiction or fiction. Well, one day will were retelling the store of shadrach meshach and abednego ( I will let you guess why we tell the story all the time) when we were done telling the story Ali commented that the story wasn't real because if you were thrown into a fire you would die and since they lived that story was make believe. I explained that the reason why the story has been told for thousands of years was because it was a miracle and that an angel really did come down and save them. She looked at me skeptically. I said it was just like all the miracles Jesus performed: the bread and the fishes, raising the little girl from the dead, dieing on the cross and living again ect.... She justed looked at me like I was crazy. I told her I knew that those stories were true. I told her about Faith. Eventually I stopped talking and thought that I should let it go, thinking I didn't want to nag her about it. Well, this has been going on for months now. Greg and I decided together not to make a big deal out of it because we didn't want her doing it for the attention, but we would always quietly and lovely answer her questions and answer what we believe.
Several weeks ago we had a Family Home Evening on what it feels like to feel the Holy Ghost. Shadrach mentioned a time he helped me make a meal for a friend and we delivered it together. He said he felt the Holy Ghost tell him he was making a right choice. Ali ( not to me shown up by Shadrach)mentioned the time when she was listening to Grandpa play primary songs at church and she felt the Holy Ghost. Greg and I both really stressed this to both of them and explain that that feeling will help them know what is right and wrong, and that it will comfort you when you need comfort.
Early this week I was reading The Friend ( church magazine) with Ali. Again, she was having trouble believing some of the stories. She even went as far to say that she didn't know if Jesus was even real. (BIG BREATH HERE) I calmly told her she would have plenty of time to figure it out and that she should continue to think and pray.
Laying in bed last night, Greg and I discuss our usual things. (How we would solve the worlds problems) Our talk turned to Ali. I told him that if she was still struggling with this when she was eight that I didn't think she should get baptised. He agreed. He also stated that we shouldn't make too big of deal about it either because we both think she knows that saying these things makes us nervous and upset and she is just saying them for that reason ( Ali is like that sometimes) I told Greg how hard it is raising children. I can teach Ali to read, work hard, play the piano, even read and memorise scriptures, pray, and sing primary songs. But I can't MAKE HER FEEL that it is all true. I begin singing Michael Mclean's song. ( Greg was really annoyed)
( 3rd verse)
Every sleepless night knows many mothers
who are wond'ring if they've done alright.
And the dairyman's daughter knew
more than a few of those nights.
Had she given her son too much freedom?
Had she smothered her two teenage girls?
Did she spoil them too much or not trust them enough
to prepare them for life in this world?
So she opened her heart to the heavens
and she spoke of her children by name.
And the prayer that she prayed
that her kids would be saved had a very familiar refrain.
Which part is mine?
And God, which part is yours?
Could you tell me one more time,
I'm never quite sure.
And I won't cross the line
like I have before.
But it gets so confusing some times.
Should I do more, or trust the divine?
Please, just help me define which part's mine,
and which part is yours.
That was the last thing Greg and I said ( ok I sang) before we went to bed.
This morning I woke up highly annoyed to see Ali already up doing some kind of project. ( It really helps me to be awake and ready before the kids wake up) Then I looked at her eyes. They were moist. She told me, "Mom, I just felt the Holy Ghost. I was singing primary songs in my bedroom up stairs and I felt the Holy Ghost." She was writing down the date in a journal and writing the words Holy Ghost. I stared at her astonished . I couldn't believe it. I told her that I love her. And that the Holy Ghost is telling her that those primary songs speak the truth. I go and get Greg who is about ready to leave for work. He starts to cry. He tells her that Christ loves her and that he has answered her prayers. He gets out our big Book of Mormon and reads Moroni 10:4-5
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not btrue; and if ye shall ask with a csincere heart, with dreal intent, having efaith in Christ, he will fmanifest the gtruth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
He explained to her what it meant. We talked about how she knew it was the Holy Ghost. She said she started to cry and that her stomach felt jumpy and her heart felt ok. We told her to remember that feeling and the God would speak to her in that way in the future when she had questions.
Thank you. Thank you. I now know which part is mine and which part is Yours. And that is Why I Believe
