Heaven

Have I mentioned lately that I love Gregory? Because I do. Ever since the move he has been extra wonderful. Not that he wasn’t wonderful before- because he was. But he has made an effort to be a better husband, father, and person and I can tell. I think he knows that the move has been hard on me, so he has decided to be Mr. Wonderful.

Like he would come home from work, and “notice” I have had a hard day. ( Him picking up on signs that I have had a hard day is a big accomplishment in and of itself ) and will take all of the children to a park. Or even when I don’t have a bad day, he will come home and play with the children. Or he does the dishes. This is amazing. It makes me so happy that at the end of the day that he would volunteer to do the dishes.

I am often very tired at the end of the day and making dinner and eating makes me even more tired. ( it is hard to feed myself and four little people) Dishes and cleaning up the kitchen is like the last stretch in the marathon race of my day. They fact that he would help me makes me happy.

I think he is genuinely happier at his new job, and he is less stressed at the end of the day. But I also think he is doing it to be nice to me - which makes me happy. 9 years ago today I met Gregory at the IU campus for EFY. It has been a great 9 years. It has also been a lot harder than I ever thought but also more rewarding than I ever thought. I don’t won’t people to think it is all peaches and cream, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you Greg.

Because you just might get a mixer

So if you didn't know Greg LOVES his jobs.  It is nice to have a husband who loves his job.  He loves going to work every day and he loves being there.  It makes me happy.  It makes moving all worth it.  Since he works so hard, his work got him a "Brovo" which means you can go to this web site and pick out any gift you want.  He got me a standing mixer.  What a great guy!  He could have gotten a hundred different things, and he got me a mixer.  And that is how you make a marriage work.  You think of the other person before yourself.  And you give them a mixer.

 I have made bread.

 Snickerdoodles

 And pizza crust.

And it has been one day........  And they are all gone.......This is going to be a fun, fun life.  A fun life with a standing mixer.

Dear people who think life is greener on the other side of the fence,
(And no I am not writing this about you- I am writing it about someone who does not read my blog)
You make me mad.  Whenever I think about you, I get angry inside and can't sleep.  Life is not easy.  It is hard work.  You have to work to be happy.  Sometimes even when you are doing everything right, life still sucks.  BUT guess what.  It gets better.  Maybe it will be a month, a year, or even 5 years, but it will get better.  So don't give up.  Don't throw it all away because you are unhappy now and you are tired and you just want to give up.  Because you just might get a mixer.

Angry

I will never get used to Greg leaving. I CAN get used to being by myself. I can do it on my own. It is hard and I don't like it but I can take care of four kids by myself. but what I CANNOT do is say good bye to Greg over and over and over again. I feel like it kills a little part of me on the inside. I love it when he comes home but I hate it too because I know he is going to leave again. I hate the leaving.

the stress of moving has gotten to me. I find I am angry often. I am not really an angry person but I find myself angry most of the time. Not at Greg or at the kids but at other people who happen to be around me. I am sure that in reality they are not doing anything that would make a sane person mad. But I am not sane. I am crazy. My stress level is so high. I have not yelled at any one or even told them I am mad. I just think it. But as a man thinkth so is he. I am Really tired of being angry. I keep on doing what Jason Kirton and I would alway do when we were little. If we ever started feeling bad, we would always remind ourselves it could be so much worse. Then we would imagine all of these really terrible awful things that could go wrong. So much so it would often makes us laugh..... liked I could be pregnant right now, and my house could burn down tonight, and I could have 2 dogs, and I could go blind and some kind of car wreck and all of the ice cream machines in the world could break and there would never be ice-cream again! -sigh-
How can you be angry after that?

All by myself

It is interesting being here all by myself. I no longer have a normal. Even when Greg comes home, it isn't normal. Normal is gone. I miss normal. I am trying to decided if I should take all of the kids and move into greg's apartment. That won't be normal ether though. it solves my missing Greg problem though. I sometimes wonder when there will be normal again. 3 months? 6 months?? Maybe even a year.....

Did I mention I miss Greg? I decided I was going to marry this guy a couple of weeks after meeting him. The third week I knew him I read his missionary journals. I know that when you are on you mission you are on a spiritual high, but when I read his journalsI felt like I could feel his dreams. I wanted the same things. And you can't help but think he is a HOTTIE in this picture. ( I like the skinny, spiritual, nerdy type)

Flowers

Greg brought tulips for me. I really enjoyed them. More than roses and daises. I think they remind me of spring. I think it is hard for Greg when I a pregnant. He always thinks I am sad. I am not really sad; I am just pregnant. I often just want to lay around and do nothing and sometimes I cry. But I am not sad. This is hard for him to understand. Just a few more weeks and then we will have a baby!