Liam

So I had a baby. My mom came over on Sunday and spent the night and then Greg and I got up Monday Morning at around 5:45 to head to the hospital. We got there at 6:30. We checked in and they took us to our room which was a different room then the one we went to with Shad and Enoch. People started moving right away. I was caught off guard. With Enoch there was two Emergency C-sections that got pushed in a head of me. So we waited more than 4 hours until we finally got through. And it seemed to take a long time with Shadrach too. But not this time. They actually walked me into the operating room 15 min. earlier than planned! I was really nervous. I think because I knew that if I died I was leaving behind a lot of people who depend on me. I calmed down a little bit once the surgery got going and people started to talk about things. I always like to be distracted by conversation so I am not thinking about all my insides being taken out of my body. Then Liam was born and he cried right away. With my first three kids, it always seemed to take forever for them to cry and I would just hold my breath. I didn't get to see him at all for the first 15 to 20 min. That is normal. I have never gotten to see any of my children for the first 15 min., but I can hear them some where in the room. This time it seemed to take them a little bit longer to "fix me back up." And I felt some weird kind of "pain." It is really hard to describe because I have so much medication in me it didn't feel like pain but it didn't feel right. I got a little bit nervous again when all of that was going on. I think the anastesialogist did something that made it better. My doctor told me a little bit later that my stomach had adhered to my uterus and he had just detached it. I think that was what all the weird pain was from. (This also explains why for the last three weeks of my pregnancy I would throw up all of the time. When ever I would have braxton hicks contractions, it would contract my stomach too making me throw up.) Soon they wheeled me into the recovery room. Liam was doing great! It was wonderful. They were just about to wheel me upstairs to my new room, but they couldn't get the thermometer to work right. So they got another one. And then another one. Finally they realized that the thermometers were working but my temperature was just 94.1 degrees. Apparently that isn't supposed to be possible. So they immediately got a really awesome warming blanket. It was very nice and warm. I was sweating buckets. They think that was why my temperature was so low, but they didn't know why I was sweating so much. They changed my hospital gown 4 times in 2 hours because it was so drenched with sweat. Finally I think the recovery nurses got tired of waiting for me to warm up ( it was lunch time), so they put the thermometer under my arm which was also under the warming blanket. This got my temperature up to 96 degree, so they decided to move me up stairs. When I got there, my new nurse was wonderfully awesome but really annoyed at the other nurses because my temperature was still only 94 degrees. So they put the warming blanket back on and took my temperature every 15 min. or so. After 4 or 5 hours my temperature finally went back up. The rest of the stay was less eventful which is good. Liam slept a whole lot the first day. I really didn't even see his eyes at all for awhile. The first day my kids came to visit, everyone was happy and smiley and excited. The second day every one was grouchy, and tired and I think ready for everything to go back to normal. My doctor is wonderful and came to see me every day even though he was off of work because his wife was having some kind of medical issue treated. I didn't ask details. He told me I could go home early if I wanted which I did. I thought just being at home would help my kids even if I wasn't doing anything but sitting on the couch. Although we are still having times where everyone just seems tired even though I am making sure they are getting plenty of rest.

So here's to having four! A new adventure.

Glen Lake 2009

So I am writing this recap of this vacation almost 2 years after the fact. I might not remember everything just right but I wanted to move pictures here because the whole reason why I started this blog was that we keep "loosing" pictures for several reason.

This is Shadrach, Ali, counsin Zoe, and Greg playing in Glen lake in front of the house we rented. We found out later that this water was really infested with "water bugs." Greg was covered with them and Ali, Shad, and Zoe has some too.

Shadrach is on uncle Frank's shoulders after the Empire Bluffs hike. Poor uncle Frank. He was really excited about going on vacation with us because this is where he went as a boy with Greg. BUT he didn't factor in what it was going to be like to be on vacation with 4 children under that age of 4. Ali on the stairs of Empire Bluffs.

Shadrach and I at Empire Bluffs.

Ali and Shadrach have buried themselves in the sand at part of the Scenic Drive.

I am holding Enoch at the Scenic Drive

This is me and Zoe, Shadrach and Enoch at the Scenic Drive.

Cousins! Ali and Zoe posing during the Hike on Empire Bluffs. This picture reminds me of the fact that I kept running out of clothes for Ali. I tired to pack "light." but I didn't realize that the kids would get their clothes wet in the lake all of the time and soon be through all of their clothes in one day. So Ali's out fit this day was just the only thing that was dry.

I love this picture of Greg. I love the boys matching shirts. I love Ali's smile. I love the blue in the background and the sand.

Enoch walking on on the Scenic Drive.

Ali, cousin Zoe, and Shadrach playing on our dock.

Ali and Shadrach playing out by Glen Lake.

Ali collecting rocks at Lake Michigan. I love this because of all the pink. Her pink shoes, undies, and dress was not planned. It just happened and I think she is so cute trying to collect all of the rocks in her dress.

Before we left home. Everyone was really excited. They always forget it is around 8 hours in the car until we get there. I am trying to remember who threw up this year.... I think Ali did on the way back home but that might have been it.

This year Garry, Kathy (Greg's Parents), Uncle Frank, cousin Zoe, and all of our family stayed in the same house. It was a huge, nice house and very expensive compared to other places that we have stayed. It had a huge basement/gameroom in it. The kitchen was a very, very nice retro kitchen. It was fun to use.

Deciding what college to go to

So when I was a senior in High School, I had to decided what college to go to. I had always wanted to go to BYU. It was my dream. I had worked so hard to be able to get in. I have a learning disability, so school work always took me longer than it did most people. But I had a dream. So I took all of the Honors classes available at my school. I made the varsity Soccor team. I was in band, drama, Science club, varsity choir, etc... I went to seminary every day unless I was sick and missed school. Most everything I did, I did with that BYU application in mind. I would cry if I got Bs on tests or papers because I knew Bs would not get me into BYU. Unlike what you might think, my parents HATED the idea of me going to BYU. "It was to far away" they said. Plus they have always had a little thing against people from around here going to school at BYU because there are great schools here and great institutes here ( the ones that they went to) and they think people should "build up the kingdom where they are" It has never bothered me to do stuff my parents disagree with, so I was still dead set on going to BYU. My parents had one rule though, I had to at least visit BYU. I had never been there. I had only been to Utah once, when I was 11 to take my brother on his mission. So my mom and I planned a trip out there. It was on her birthday, so around Nov. 4th 2001. We flew out there which was fun. I remember being very excited when we finally got to provo. We found our hotel and I wanted to go see the campus. For some reason my mom didn't. So I asked her if I could just go walk around be myself. She said yes ( which now that I think of it was crazy!!! Mom I was in some weird city I had never been to before and you are going to go let me explore) I walked out of the hotel and I wanted to get to campus. I had no idea where it was, but I thought if I just walked towards the big Y on the mountain, I would run into campus. And I did. It was cold but a weird kinda cold. In Indiana, you would have needed a coat, but something about the air there made it not so cold. I walked around campus for a long time exploring. I even ran into someone from my stake, Chris Connley. I thought as soon as I walked on campus I would feel at home-- A calm, peaceful feeling. But it didn't happen. I didn't feel anything. Or if I did feel anything I felt negative feelings. I don't remember walking back to the hotel ( How did I find my way back?!?!) The next day I had official tours of the campus. I went to church there, and I remember eating at the cafeteria. It felt bad. I don't know why. Looking back now I wonder if the problem was that I was only hanging out with college Freshman. They seemed so young, innocent, carefree, and immature. I was used to going to college and hanging out with my siblings whose friends were a mixture of ages, some even 30 years old working on PhDs and curing cancer. However, I think things were just supposed to feel wrong. So I went back home to ponder these things. Later, I got into IU, Purdue and BYU ( I only applied to those three). So now I had to decide what school to go to. I knew I had to pray about it to know which was right. This was the biggest decision in my life up to that point in time. I knew I shouldn't make it on my own. I had never "prayed and gotten an answer" before. I prayed all the time- for guidance, for comfort, for help but never for something that had one thing as the answer. I felt like I knew how to pray about something important. 1. I had done my own investigation on the matter and had pondered the facts 2. I decided to fast. 3. I had to make a decision for myself, pick a school and then ask Heavenly Father if it was right. I did this all. I picked BYU. I fasted. I prayed about it. And nothing happened. I didn't feel good or bad. I thought that might happen, so I just decided to do it the next Sunday too. I did. Still nothing. I did this several times. Nothing. Then I switched to Purdue. Nothing. I prayed about Purdue for several weeks. Nothing. Now a lot of time had passed. I needed to make a choice. Everyday people were talking about what school they were going to and I couldn't decide. I remember my U.S. History teacher asking my every day in the Hallway. I had no idea. PLUS I felt horrible inside. I couldn't figure out how to pray and get an answer. I knew in the next few years I would be making BIG decisions, school, majors, marriage, children... I had to figure out how to pray and get an answer!!!! I read so many church books and articles on prayer. I really did try everything. My parents told me I needed to decide. They said if I wasn't getting an answer then it must not matter where I was supposed to go. So I picked. I picked BYU. I couldn't go wrong with BYU. It was a church school. God would never be upset that I picked that. I remember kneeling by my bed that night telling Heavenly Father that I was going to BYU. And then while I was praying I sort of made a deal with him. I don't know where I got his from. -Back track- So I was crazy about applying for scholarships. I loved it. I thought it was so much fun!!! I don't know how many I applied for- I would say around 50. I read that the more you applied too the more you got and that was true. I think I got 8 or 9 scholarships. All small little ones, but still it was fun. I would go and look at the scholarship board every study hall. This one scholarship was posted on the scholarship board that looked awesome. It was for Purdue for English majors. (Now I had a learning disability in English) But not only did they give you money, you got to be in some special honors class that would bring in special professors from all over the college to speak and listen to them) Then the second semester you would pick a professor and work one on one with them the whole semester on a special project. The whole thing sounded awesome. I decided to apply - because i applied to everything. I had to submit a paper that I had written. I picked one from my Jr. year on Uncle Tom's Cabin. It was called "Where much is given; much is required." I didn't get a good grade on it which means I got a B. But I loved that paper. I poored my heart and soul into it. I sent it in. The bad part about this scholarship was that it said that they weren't going to announce the winners until the end of June. -OK back to my prayer- So I told God I was going to BYU and that if for some reason I was making a terrible mistake and I just didn't understand his answer all this time to send me a sign. I told him "Let me get that Awesome scholarship from Purdue that promised all of that awesome stuff" - I knew it wouldn't happen because of my learning disability and because the paper I sent in got a B. The next day I wore my BYU shirt to school and my BYU socks. I told everyone I was going to BYU. I found my U.S. History teacher and told him. I was going to BYU. I got home from school and something had come for me in the mail. It was from Purdue's School of Liberal Arts.( I am crying now as I write this) It told me I had got the scholarship! I got it. It was only April. They were supposed to wait until June to pick. They had given me the scholarship when the night before I had been on my knees telling God to give me this scholarship only if going to BYU was not his will. What did it mean!?!?! Believe it or not I still wasn't sure. Did God answer prayers like that?! When my dad came home from work, he open the scriptures to the Old Testament and read me the story of Gideon. Gideon couldn't figure out what to do, so he put some sheep skin out side and asked God to make the dew on the ground and not on the Sheep skin and then visa versa if he was supposed to lead the armies into battle. I had done the same thing. I couldn't figure out what to do. I did what Gideon had done. God had answered my prayers. We went out to Pizza Hut to celebrate. I think my parents were thrilled beyond belief. And the next day I told everyone that I was going to Purdue. That is why I believe.

New kind of parenting

So this pregnancy has really got me. It has won. It has beaten me.

With Ali I was 20 years old, in my first year of marriage, transferred to a new college and new major, and walked a mile to a final on Friday and had her on Monday.

With Shadrach I student taught through 8 months of it and then dealt with the transition of being a stay at home Mom to Ali. (Ali didn't want to stay at home with me. She wanted to go back to Terri's house.- Just a few temper tantrums there)

With Enoch I already had two kids plus I watched another little girl for most of my pregnancy. I can't remember now when I stopped watching her.

With all three of the pregnancy, I still did all of the cooking, shopping, child rearing, and cleaning by myself no problem. Baby number 4 has got me. I can't do it all and it is so very hard to ask for help. First I am an emotional basket case, so I cry when ever I talk to anyone-- Even though I really am not that upset. Second I feel like a failure-Like I should be able to do it but just can't. This Last week I have done nothing but lie around the house. Greg has taken two half days off of work and a friend of mine has watched the boys for me a few of the days. When I have the kids at home, I have started this new style of parenting that I find really interesting. It is called "do what ever you want and eat what ever you want".

So Enoch has taken to washing all of his cars in the bathroom. He ran out of soap yesterday. (Thank Goodness!) It makes a mess but keeps him busy for hours. I let them eat a whole can of Pringles the other day for snack. It just wasn't worth it to let them have just a few or do a normal healthy snack. They were happy for a long time because of this. I also made a lunch that was chicken nuggets, fruit snacks, and brownies! They ate every bite. It made me laugh. Who cares about fruits and veggies? Who needs healthy protein?

I let Shadrach do what ever he wants. That really means he plays video games all day long. I think he has had the best week of his life. I don't make him do his school work or even his chores. It just isn't worth it. Now, I still get them dressed up to go play out side for some of the day. Thank Heavens for the fence and for the trampoline. they both still have quiet time. And Enoch still has to take a nap. But still, it is a whole new world of parenting that I have discovered. This next week is spring break. I am not sure what is going to happen. I have big plans, but I am not sure if I will be able to do those plans. I'll let you know.

Family Home Evening 3/21/2011

Eating Pudding together after a a long walk around Lebanon. They were gone for 45 min. I didn't go because I can barely walk around the house. We learned about recycling and keeping the earth clean. The kids loved walking around and picking up trash, so we should do it again. right now they are watching something on you tube about recycling.