Darkness

I have always been afraid of the dark. I don't remember a time when I wasn't afraid of the dark. However, it used to petrify me. Now this is ok when you are 5 or 6 maybe but when you are 16, it is a bit weird. I always slept with the lights on and the door open ( the door would have to be open so I could make a quick get away if needed - weird huh?). I would never allow myself to stay up late because I could not be the last one up. I needed to fall asleep with people still moving around my house. That paper route I had for one year was AWFUL. I would be hot and sweaty and my heart would be pounding as I ran from a house to the car with the paper. I would sing primary songs in my head to try to distract me. Seminary was bad too because it was still dark when I left my house.
Girl scout camp was horrible. I think there was 1 week when I was around 11 that I didn't sleep the whole week. And I never slept well at camp. I always sang "A Child's Prayer" over and over and over and over and over in my head. I always prayed for peace and calm to get me through those nights. I think that is where my first testimony came from-- those prayers late at night when i felt all alone and by myself. I would pray with all of my heart for peace and comfort so I could fall asleep. Some times when I think about some of those times, I think I was crazy -- Really crazy-- Like maybe I needed to be in a looney bin. I felt like the darkness was trying to get me. But one thing i know for sure is I can think of 5 or so times when I was so scared that I could feel the darkness encasing me and I would pray and a shield would form around me. I could feel the shield. I remember not wanting to move because I was afraid the shield would break.
I often wondered why I was afraid of the dark. I went to therapy several times about. At one point in time, I thought it had something to do with some thing bad that happened to me in the dark when I was little. But I don't think that any more. I simply think I was afraid of the dark. And I am in a weird way thankful for that fear because I think it taught me at an early age to pray and to believe.

Now to go on to one of the most spiritual things that has ever happened to me. I won't write it all. It doesn't seem right to.... too personal... too sacred. However, I do wish for my children to know about this, so maybe I will write it down some where else. When I first went to the temple, something very special happened. The temple worker was just saying what they always say I am sure but something happened. When she was talking to me, it burned in her heart as she told me the words, and it burned in my heart. I felt like she could feel all of my fear that I had had, and she was telling me that I didn't need to be scared any more. There was no greater power than Heavenly Father's and this protection that he was giving me would make the darkness go away. I haven't been afraid since. Now when I walk out side and it is dark I still take a deep breath.BUT on a scale of 1 to 100, it is a 5 now and it used to be 95. It isn't even comparable.

And if you are wondering, I slept with the lights off that night, and every night since. And the "darkness" has never come again.

Swim Lessons

I love this picture because I was trying to get a picture of Shad and just happened to get Enoch walking by in the background!
Ali going of the Diving Board.

Shad

Enoch sitting with his class.

We did swim lessons every single day for two weeks straight! WOW! It was fun, and we had perfect weather. Enoch often didn't want to do it but then would eventually decided he would. He did much better than I thought he would. A few times he stripped naked and ran around being in one of his moods. i think wearing the bathing suit ( the feel of it) really bothered him.

I really like this because I think kids should go swimming during the summer, but it really is too dangerous for me to take my kids. 6, 4, 3, and 0 and one adult just doesn't cut it. I am too afraid someone will drown, so we don't go. but I liked swim lessons because I feel like the kids got there pool "fix" in a safe way while learning a little bit too.

Good, Better, Best

So.... I know that sometimes I am Crazy Mom. I really want the best for my kids, and I know that sometimes i go over board. My kids have to read a book to me every day, do 20 min of math homework, work on Spanish, dance, listen to a scripture story, practice a primary song, recite the scripture of the week, and do chores ever single day. That is a lot of stuff to do!! Sometimes I wear myself out trying to get it all done PLUS still have fun like swimming lessons and going to the park to play. i know that Greg thinks I am crazy. Sometimes he calls me up on the phone and says "Please don't do anything today so you are not exhausted by the time I get home.

So I am aware enough to know too that there are more important things in life to learn than than school work...... like Charity and Christ like Love. BUT that is SO hard to teach! How am I supposed to teach to be Christ like? I know it is by example. However, I have this small problem that I am so busy teaching my kids Spanish and math problems that I don't have time to love others. That is where that good, better, best comes in. Sure what I am doing is good, but I could be doing better.

So an email came to me about someone who needed dinner because they had been in the hospital. I thought this might be the perfect time to teach some service to my children. It ended up only being Shadrach, but I thought it might be more meaningful if it was just one-on-one too. He helped me make bread and cookies. Then he helped me deliver it. We had a long discussion about how he felt inside and what the Holy Ghost feels like. He is a very spiritual child. I know that making a casserole for someone is very Mormony cliche way of showing charity but it is a start.... Maybe a "better". Soon I will try a "best"

Family Home Evening

So we are going to do some interesting family home evenings the next three weeks. We are doing so many fun things this summer. It is hard to do FHE too, so we are combining it with something else. Greg is taking Ali and Shad to see the Lord of the Rings in Fishers. They love it. I know. I know. Lord of the Rings? The Lord of the Rings is very important part of our family. I think Greg one time told me the top three important books were the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and then the Hobbit. It is very important to him for our children to learn Tolkien. And I think it is funny, so I go along with it.

So when Greg leaves with the older two I take Enoch to get a "treat." It was going to be ice cream, but when we got to McDonald's to get our 49 cent cones ( what a deal!), he was so disappointed not to be getting french fries. So the next week I asked him if he wanted french fries or ice cream. He picked french fries. :0 Funny boy.

Zoe is going to be with us for 2 weeks of the summer. Here she was with us for Family Home Evening. One week our lesson was on Fathers and our Heavenly Father. The Next week it was on

Dance!

Ali and Shadrach had their first dance recital. They were great. The recital was wonderful but soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long. I think it was 4 hours long. I say I think because we just had to leave after 3 hours ( mostly because of Enoch) and they were not even close to being done. We have them go to a very prestigious dance company. The dance company just got named National Champions for 2011. We love the place. Most of the dancers are older. They have classes for the younger kids almost as an after thought. There is only 4 kids in the class and their teacher has a degree in Dance from Butler. Their teacher, Miss Jamie, loves Shadrach too. She made his outfit for him.

Ali loves to dance. I think it might just be something she is naturally good at. I would love her to play the piano or violin or sing and she still might do some of those things BUT I think dancing is in her blood. We will have to wait and see. Shadrach likes to dance but I think he might move on to something else in a few years.

STRAWBERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shadrach is mighty proud of all of our strawberries. We just got done washing them and we are letting them dry. I think we are going to be eating strawberries for awhile. YUMMM Daddy picking the strawberries

The kids watching daddy pick them. ( They picked too but I think they got wore out after a while)

Our strawberries are all along the side of our house.

Here is Greg's Garden.

Memorial Day

Things I love about Lebanon. It has to be one of the most patriotic cities in America. They love America. They LOVE America. Our church always has a flag ceremony on Memorial day followed by a breakfast. So we have gone every year but once. You can't help have the patriotic feelings rub off on you in this town. My kids our with a friend of ours who is in the Navy. ( things I don't like about Lebanon several of my neighbors really believe Obama is a Muslim) Got to love small town America.

Ali reading the program.



Enoch. What else can I say.

Family Home Evening- April 30 2011

My camera was on the wrong setting for awhile so all my pictures looked like these. I couldn't figure it out until later though with Greg's help. We are playing Super Hero Squad Matching Game.

Ali is really enjoying the lesson here. (hehe) I taught it for once!! Greg didn't say much. He didn't feel well. It was all about summer break and what to expect. Things like they have to still work on their IXL (math), read a book a day, do their chores, and have rest time. I will talk more a about our summer schedule later. I didn't want my kids to think that summer meant no rules or no schedule.

Enoch helped me make the cookies. Early in the day. This was a mix from Greg's mom's house. Yummy.

Lesson: Summer Goals and Schedule

Song: Don't remember

Activity: Memory Game

Dessert: Peanut butter cookies with a chocolate kiss on top

matching outfits

If you don't know, I love matching outfits. I think they are really fun. My sister bought these for me. Aren't they cute? I think we are going to get a family picture taken with them if I can get my stuff together and e organized enough to do that.

King's Island

So Ali and Shadrach worked really hard this year and did extra math homework called IXL.com . We told them if they finished their level they could go to King's Island. All along it was going to be daddy, Ali, and Shad. Then at the last min. some how I got talked into going and bringing all of the kids! I know. We are crazy.

Shadrach, Greg, and Ali going up!


Getting ready to go up! This was Shad' favorite ride. The kids loved all of the rides! Even the roller coasters. I couldn't believe it. Shad was really brave. None of the rides even scared him a little bit. This was Shadrach's favorite one. Enoch's favorite was the hunted house. I don't know what Ali's favorite was.

Liam spent half of the day in the baby Bojourn (sp) back pack thingy. He loves it. It was hot and sweaty but he didn't seem to mind. The other half of the time he was in the stroller.

Don't let him fool you. I think this is one of the few smiles he had this day. He was a grump. He misses out on so much fun sometimes because he is so stubborn. Even though he was grumpy, I think he still had fun. Or at least I am telling myself that.

Can you see them waiting in line? We went memorial weekend so it was busy! But it wasn't that bad. There was a lot of line waiting. The weather was perfect so I just enjoyed being outside the whole day.

Greg trying to convince Enoch to be happy. Greg had a great time and was super positive the whole day. I had a great time too, but not as positive as Greg. Somehow it got my goat that Enoch was complaining a lot.

Here is a picture of Shad on the Swings.

Ali before we left. It was a 2 and 1/2 hour to 3 hour car ride. It went well. We had to stop to feed Liam on the way there. And then we had to stop on the way home for an EMERGENCY potty break for Enoch.

Family Home Evening- April 23 2011

We had strawberry shortcake for dessert. Enoch finally got to have some!!! YEAH!! however he only ate the whip cream of the top and left the rest.

The boys singing Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam.



Daddy teaching the lesson on how to be a good host. We have had problems when Ali and Shad have friends over. They beg to have friends over but then after 30 min. they say that want some alone time, or sit on the couch and stare blankly at the T.V. and don't talk to their friend or hid somewhere in the house and not tell their friend so their friend has no idea where they are or what they are doing. So we talked about playing with the friend the whole time and doing what they want to do.

Song: Jesus Want Me for a Sunbeam

Lesson: Being a good host

Dessert: strawberry short cake

Activity: I don't remember but I know we did one