Today in Primary I substitute for a 5 year old class. The class was on being a peacemaker and choosing to be happy even when you don’t feel like it. Boy, I needed that lesson today. I am so upset today! My best friend from Lebanon was in the hospital the last two days with VERY low hemoglobin. And I feel so helpless and so far away. I just want to be there. I woke up at 2:30 in the morning worried and didn't get back to sleep.
I want to live next door and watch her four kids for her. I want to run her day care for her this week. I want to make her dinner, but I can’t do any of that. It has made me really depressed. It has made me miss Lebanon more than I ever have. And the more I think about her- the more I miss Lebanon.
I miss our little church in Lebanon. And when an eight year old got baptized, the whole ward would be a little teary eyed. And the Branch President, and Primary President would try hard not to cry when they welcomed them into the ward - because they remembered when they were just a sunbeam and they were their teacher or when they accidentally stuck their head in a chair and all of sacrament had to stop. And everyone would remember how much they have grown. Because they used to see them at play group every week and remembered that they could never sit still during story time. I purposely don’t think about all the people I miss because it is just too sad - so sad I just can’t take it. The last few months I lived in Lebanon, I didn’t even really see or hang out with anyone because I just couldn’t do it without crying.
When you start thinking negatively, it is poisonous. Suddenly, I can be annoyed by people who are really awesome people. Little things bug the HECK out of me. Stores every where, big old sunglasses, and IPhones JUST REALLY BUG ME! And if I hear the word BYU one more time I just might go crazy.
So I am trying really hard to follow my lesson that I gave to some five year olds today. “Blessed are the peacemakers.” I can choose to have a positive attitude. Instead of crying that I can’t help my friend, I can help someone here in West Chester. I can take a deep breath. I can pray for Terri. I can take another deep breath. And I can pray that one day I will hear the words BYU and not want to gag. J
( hey I believe in miracles - it could happen)
Hope you are feeling better. We miss you so much too. I was thinking about Riley being baptized and thought about Ali getting baptized and I have to admit that it made me a little sad that Riley wouldn't be at her baptism. However, i'm sure there are lots of great things about Ohio that Lebanon doesn't have......just one more thing while I'm on the negative train with you. I'm sad that our kids won't be at the 4th of July parade together eating Popsicles again.....but like I said there are wonderful things about Ohio. Enjoy them!
ReplyDeletepack up those kids and come visit!!! seriously, i know our house isn't that big but we've got plenty of room for you guys! if you want to come and visit and stay overnight with us, we'd love to you have you!!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you are so homesick for Lebanon. Is there something I can do for your friend Terri? I live awfully close to her :). We miss you all too. It was fun to see Greg the other day but we were sad it was just Greg - we wanted to see all of your family!
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