Shadrach- 2005

The fall of 2005 was very stressful. I think the most stressful time in my life so far. We had just moved to Lebanon. We mistakenly thought it would only take 2 weeks to fix our house up enough to be livable. It really took more like 4 months. It was SO dirty and plus we had trouble getting the big projects done because we kept running into problems. Greg had only been working for a few months. He felt a lot of pressure and stress to preform well at his job. The person he was replacing was someone he knew from High School, and he was being replaced because he couldn't "cut it". Greg would be stressed because there was so much to learn to balance at work. ( Now, he loves it: It just took time to figure out.) I was student teaching. I had to put Ali in Day Care -- Something I had sworn I would never do. My heart was broken. I felt like I had broken one of my biggest goals in life, and I was only 21. PLUS student teaching was AWFUL! My teacher was a good teacher. I am glad I got to see her teach, but she was a perfectionist and everything I did was WRONG. And not just a little wrong. If she told me to sing more educational songs during singing time, the next week she would scowld me for not singing enough fun songs. I was so insecure. I felt awful. I would come home exausted and pick up Ali from day care and start to clean the kitchen so I could cook dinner ( I had to clean it every day because of all of the construction going on in our house). Ali was covered in dirt from crawling around on the dirty floors for the same reason. I was so stressed that I got in a huge fight with Greg's mom. I don't even know what it was about. I just remember screaming a whole lot-- which I don't think I have ever screamed that much in the last 5 years.
Ok that was the back ground information.
One day at church we were sitting in church. It was a normal Sunday. A new family (Milocovics-sp-)had moved in and they were assigned to speak. When their little boy got up to speak, I didn't really hear a word he said. But I didn't hear other words either. Something odd happened in my mind. Something that had only happened one other time (When I met Greg). Feelings and thoughts came into my mind- but they were not words. I will try to put them into words now. "A little boy was waiting to come down to our family. It was important to have another child soon. He was going to do many important things. He was going to be pale and sickly. He was going to have pale skin, pale eyes, and pale hair. I was going to worry about his health but I would be blessed with knowledge to know how to help him. All of his health problems would be ok by the time he reached adolescents." I just remember crying. Crying and Crying because I was so stressed out. I couldn't have another baby right now. I did tell Greg about it but I decided to ignore it. The next Sunday the same thing happened and the Sunday after that. Soon I almost dreaded going to church because I knew the feeling would over power me. Then I started feeling it before I went to bed at night. After around two months, I surcame to the prompting. I decided we needed to listen to the spirit even if it didn't logically make since. I didn't tell anyone besides Greg. I thought I sounded like a crazy person- I still sort of think that. I still will not say for sure that this little boy is Shadrach. I just know a little boy was waiting and another child needed to be born. Maybe he is still to come. But so far, Shadrach fits the bill. And what a blessing Shadrach is to our family. I am glad I did not wait to have another baby. Ali and him are best friends and I think it it because they are so close in age. That is why I believe.